Ryan D'Aprile

The Ideal Mindset Of Top Real Estate Agents • Coaching Moments • Ryan D’Aprile

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Welcome to the February episode of Coaching Moments with Ryan D’Aprile!

How important is mindset? What could you do right now to improve your thoughts and beliefs that would result in more business? In this episode Ryan provides the disciplines needed to make 2020 your best year ever in real estate. Follow his suggestions and then send him a thank you! 🙂

Over the past decade Ryan D’Aprile has personally coached hundreds of real estate agents to top producer status. He has devoted his career to sharing the strategies that have worked for him (and for countless others) to help agents get to the next level.

Ryan D’Aprile can be reached at 312.590.6416 and ryan@daprileproperties.com.

Ryan D'Aprile
d'aprile properties


D.J. Paris 0:00
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Welcome to keeping it real the largest podcast most listened to podcasts for real estate agents by real estate agents. My name is DJ Paris. I am your host and guide through the show and today we have our coaching moments monthly episode with Ryan de abril Ryan is a progressive thought leader is focused on providing for his agents and staff, his strengths our motivational skills, his coaching style, and his dedication to training. Ryan’s company deep real properties has 14 offices throughout Chicagoland. Also they are in Wisconsin, Indiana and Michigan. And they have hundreds and hundreds of brokers, many of which are top 1% producers. Do you have real properties is a coaching company with eight strategic coaches who work week in and week out with every single one of their agents individually focusing on business planning, coaching and accountability. Now, if you are a broker, a real estate agent and would like to take your career to the next level, or if you’re just not getting the attention you need from your current firm, check out de abril properties, visit the appeal properties.com. We’ll post that link in the show notes and welcome once again, Ryan. Thank you, TJ, how are you? I’m good. How

Ryan D’Aprile 2:08
are you? I’m well, it’s good to be back. I love visiting with you. I really enjoy. I really enjoyed doing these podcasts together. I hope you do as well. And I hope the listeners get value out of this.

D.J. Paris 2:19
Yes, this is such an important show that we do this this series and we get the most feedback. I think we get the most feedback from from these episodes. And so we’re really grateful that you take the time out of aside from running 14 offices, you’re pretty busy. So well,

Ryan D’Aprile 2:34
that’s okay. No, I’m good. You know, you know, you said running 14 offices and being pretty busy. I think one of the things I want to talk about in this podcast here is mindset, and, and how to have a mindset that’s going to help you be successful. And so with you just jumping, saying and I want to jump right into something if that’s okay with you. Okay, let’s do it. All right. A lot of people I’ve noticed in this business and in life in general have a conflict with success and money. And the truth is, if you become successful at something, it does not mean you’re going to have less time for other things, especially your family, a lot of individuals think more successful I am, the less time I’m going to have to work on the things that I love or work with people that I love. And that’s simply not true. And if you really challenge yourself to grow and to focus on a skill set, like we’re talking about here in real estate, you have time to happily do a podcast once a month with your favorite podcast host. And, but it’s really true, this is not this is this is not effort, I hear I have plenty of time, I do have, you know, 13 offices, not only 1413 offices, and we do have hundreds of agents. And I do have other companies such as a mortgage company, the title company, and there’s a lot going on. But and I want the listeners to hear this, I have time from my wife and my three girls, I have time for myself. And I focus on having a positive relationship with success and a positive relationship with money. And I think that’s one of the first steps that you need to take in your journey down this path. I came across I don’t know, you know, I do I have a routine and one of the things that I do and I fall off my routines at time, but I’m a very active individual. And so to wind down, I get up very early in the morning, usually around 435 Because I am able to spend about two hours, basically with myself working on myself and then concentration on things that I want to accomplish that day. And one of it is is meditating and I’m critical of myself and I I don’t think I’m the best meditator but when I do it, I just I love it and I use the comments if you ever

D.J. Paris 4:58
use a comment before No, I know that I have not used that. Right. So

Ryan D’Aprile 5:02
the comment the daily comments fantastic and Deepak Chopra, and Oprah Winfrey have one as well, which I’ve been saying to myself, I gotta go back because I was like three or four years ago that’s using theirs. And I just, I love Deepak Chopra. Now, have you ever listened to him? But he’s like, Oh, sure, that’s my guy. But anyways, the point is, is I saw this quote, after doing a meditation, guided meditation that I do in the morning, I’m going to share this with my company on our internal group page. And really, really, this really resonated with me. And I want all the listeners to just really pause and think about this. The two most powerful warriors are patients in time. Yes. And it was such an amazing moving quote for me, because what we struggle with is our insecurities and our self doubts, we all have it, I have it. Me too. And you know, another expression, I think it was Teddy Roosevelt who said, This comparison is the thief of all joy. And in this business of ours, in this real estate business, where you have this social media world out there, where everybody’s looking to do the next HGTV real estate agent and picking, you know, what might not be real, but portraying something, we tend to compare ourselves. And I want you to come back to that, quote, the two most powerful warriors are patience and time. We all overestimate what we can achieve in a year, we underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Yes, remember why you got into this business, give yourself a break. You know, you got to give yourself a break, and work on the art and the craft that is you as a person and don’t compare to others compared to yourself, and who you were, you know, a year ago or a month ago or a week ago? And are you focusing on continuous improvement? And, you know, that’s kind of why I want to focus, you know, our conversation about here and, and this podcast is, for those of you who are listening or driving, you know, I understand what you’re going through, it’s, it’s tough, because, you know, you are a brand. You know, and it’s a very interesting business. DJ. It is, you know, it’s got its wonderful. You know, attributes to it, these I love the business, it also has some of the yucky side, as well, um, one of the, the yuckiness I feel about this business is just the the hardcore recruiting that is out there all the time. Sure, you know, and we all go through rejection, and we go through our journey. And I always tell everybody, if somebody didn’t pick you, to use you, as your agent, or a buyer’s, or if an agent gets recruited away from you, or something sort, yes, I am, how can I improve, but also, a lot of this is not about you. And you got to look that we spent so much time and effort as not only a company but individual agents disclosed to both the broker owner and the agent, focusing effort and building a brand for an agent. Does that make sense? Yes, and the agent is building their brand. So you know, that’s not easy. You’re putting yourself out there. And when you put yourself out there, your subject, you’re opening yourself up to more self criticism than anything else. And we go through this emotional roller coaster. We all just have to kind of give ourselves a break, and listen to a lot of the noise out there and try to figure out, you know, what’s it about? And what is my focus? And truthfully, I think everybody’s focus needs to come back and get re centered, and kind of cut off the noise. Figure out what you want. What’s your goal? What’s your mindset? What’s your intention is your intention, you know, set to the right place, because if it is, then that’s where your attention will go. And, you know, find an outlet for yourself, to break away from all the digital and the media, and everything that’s out there. And come back and recenter and refocus yourself. daily, if not at least minimum weekly. I don’t know if you have any routines that you work on, to help yourself focus, but I think it’s something that all of us as real estate agents, we’re putting ourselves out there need to do I did I did a yoga class. The other day called Kundalini, I believe it’s called Kundalini

D.J. Paris 9:38
sure breath yoga. Yeah, maybe not Breath of Fire and all of that stuff. He asked her.

Ryan D’Aprile 9:44
It’s fantastic. You know, and I, you know, one of my agents in our neighborhood office told me about it, and I said, God, I need something like that right now. And I want everybody to understand is that you know, be open to explore and trying things like this. And, you know, I felt You know, I feel like I’m attuned well to myself, and I focus on my energy. And sometimes my energy is awesome. And sometimes it’s horrible. And, and you gotta pay attention to, you know, you know, the universe and in signals that are getting out because I went to my, I went to my doctor about a year ago during a very stressful time. And you know what he suggested I do. What was that? Kundalini? Oh, nice. Yeah. Right. And it took a year. And then one of my agents mentioned it to me, and I said, You know what, it’s a sign. And I did it last Sunday in Naperville, at the studio on Webster. And man, did it refocus me and get me going, I had probably one of the best Sundays in a long time, because how it just really centered my breathing, and kept me to kind of just quiet my mind. You know, you have 50,000 thoughts a day running through your mind?

D.J. Paris 10:51
Right? The problem is, they’re the same 50,000 thoughts every day, right?

Ryan D’Aprile 10:56
Come more aware of it when you start to meditate, right? And then you realize, when you’re going subconsciously through the day, how distracted we all get?

D.J. Paris 11:06
Oh, of course, we’re always being stimulated, because we have a device that gives us nonstop stimulation and rewards our, our dopamine, you know, our nerve, the neuro transmitters like dopamine, norepinephrine, etc. And really conditions us to be responsive versus mindful.

Ryan D’Aprile 11:27
Yeah, it’s, you know, it’s, it’s fascinating. And then you realize it from the position that I’m in as a coach, why the failure rate is so high in this business? Because there’s such a lack of structure, yes, to a real estate agents day, when you have these thoughts, you’re gonna go in all these different directions. And then you have all this other stuff out there, right? You have the social media, you got the recruiters calling you every week, and it’s like, what are the interests of everything that’s going out there and get focused back on to? What’s your interests? What do you want? And I think everybody in this industry, because it’s your self employed, 1099, you’re eating what you’re killing? Right? Right. You’re out there, you’re building, hopefully, with your company that’s helping you build a solid brand for yourself, I, you know, you need a coach, you need you need a coach so that you can have accountability and structure to your your daily activities. And it’s, as a coach is fascinating. Even seeing the very top producing agents, when you follow up with them and cast they’re given and you let four days go by and they haven’t done it. You know what I get back when I from them when I tell them to do it, and they haven’t done it for four days. What do you think their responses? Usually?

D.J. Paris 12:47
i Oh, my gosh, we’ll get right on it. I’ll get that done. You thank

Ryan D’Aprile 12:50
you. Yeah, you know, it’s Thank you. And I think there’s a lot of fear out there. And there’s a lot of fear for managing brokers out there. And they’re fearful of holding agents accountable. And so if any managing brokers are listening to this, and, and looking to improve their skill set, and coaching and training, that’s what your agents need. And that’s what they want.

D.J. Paris 13:11
And you shouldn’t in any way, feel embarrassed about needing help. I’ve said this probably before on our episodes, but if not, I pay a woman to call me every morning at 730. And remind me to do very basic things that I struggle with. And it’s a little embarrassing to admit that I don’t remember to always clean out my cat’s litter box twice a day, which, by the way, is a pretty basic thing. If you have a cat, you should clean it out at least once a day, my cat’s more particular. And to make her life better, I should do it twice a day. The truth is if I’m being completely honest, and I have, you know the hot lamp on me, and you asked me if I do it, I wasn’t doing it for the first seven years of her life. And then I hired a person and I pay her very reasonable amount of money. And now I have other habits that I struggle with. So she asks me every morning at 730 Questions like did you make your lunch today? So at 11 or 12? Or one o’clock? I don’t have to sit here and go, What am I eat? What do I have to go get food? You know, where do I? It’s I don’t want to deal with that. So she asked me did you pack her lunch? She she asked me did you clean the cat box twice? Yesterday, she asked me things like did you plan your weekend so you can go spend time with your girlfriend. You know, these are things that I need help with. And I wish it was a little bit more automatic in my life. But you know what this works. She is my coach for some of these little things. It’s very reasonable. And I just have to surrender to the fact that I need help like everyone else.

Ryan D’Aprile 14:38
Absolutely. We all do. And one of the things in this that’s kind of a good segue to another element of coaching here and focusing on the mindset is what we have to do is we have to be conscious when we have moments of clarity because quite honestly 95% of our day is ran subconsciously so if you could take a little time to plan out your day. One of the goals the mini goals I think we should have is focusing on quieting the noise that we have, yes, yes, gotta quiet the noise, we have to limit what noise we allow to come into our world. And then, you know, another thing I think about is forcing, okay. And it’s so it’s interesting because, you know, DJ, our company, you know, probably 85% of our real estate agents were not licensed five years ago, we bring agents into the industry and we coach them up, that’s really kind of our value proposition. Sure. So I’ve had, you know, eight years now of experience working with agents, and I really helping them to stop forcing it the first year is, first two years are brutal for agents because of what they do to themselves and how they convert. And I go back to my days, you know, the one sport I played was wrestling. And, again, when you wrestled, what you tried to do is use your opponent’s weight against them, instead of forcing it and it’s one of the best things that I can relate to in real estate is you got to think about timing, and allowing things to flow instead of forcing them. And there are basic actions that we need to take to grow our business. And we have to understand, to be in this business, we have to have relationships with our network, that’s your job. It’s very simple. And you can’t complete it, and you can’t do it in a month. And you can’t do it in three months. And you can’t do it for four months or six months, and do it every other month and try to come back and try it and come back, you need to have a structured routine, you have to follow a system. And then you have to allow the process to germinate. It’s like planting a seed. And, you know, over watering it, putting tons of water on it, just hoping that the flower is going to grow,

D.J. Paris 16:56
trying to try to force it.

Ryan D’Aprile 16:58
Trust the process. Trust process.

D.J. Paris 17:03
There’s a great Zen saying, I don’t know if I’ve brought it up on the show. But it’s it’s a great one to live. It’s a hard one to live, but it’s important. And it’s called Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water after enlightenment, chop wood carry

Ryan D’Aprile 17:18
water. In other words, yes, great, isn’t it? It’s the truth. I was just with a very good friend of mine, my oldest friend. We grew up down the street together. And he just moved home from LA, so proud of him. And he’s been in movies had been in movies at Richard Gere. And he wrote a screenplay. He sold it to Lionsgate and he’s like a brother to me. And, and I haven’t seen him though, because you know, I have wife and three kids, he’s got two kids just moved back from LA and we’re catching up. We’re down here at the Renaissance and Wacker Drive them throwing a big company party tomorrow. And so if I sound nervous, it’s because I am. But um, you know, Dan, and I were talking and I was showing him, the dashboard is this technology that I built and how we coach and train. And he was just asked about the business, we’re just catching up. And he says, Do you think the business is going to look different 10 years today, he wasn’t sure so much has changed with technology, like the and a lot of noises change with technology. But the basics haven’t at all, right? So many people chase trends, and there’s so much VC and money, throwing out there to quote unquote, disrupt the business, and the only people who are disrupting the business is the agents themselves. By getting off of what you said, chopping the wood and carrying the water, it’s going to look totally different, it’s going to be exactly the same. Some of the tools are gonna be different, it’s going to be the exact same, you guys, we are an emotional intelligence business. Okay, so let’s think about exercising here. When you go when you exercise and you want to get in better physical shape, you’re gonna go to the gym, you’re gonna break down your muscles. That’s what you do when you’re lifting weights. Yep, you’re breaking your muscles down so that they could grow back and go back stronger. Now, I want you to look at the next challenge that you have in your business. And the next emotional breakdown a client of yours has or you have because we all have them. And I want you to answer relate it into the gym, and you’re breaking down your emotional muscles. Would I promise you keep faith, have faith, trust the process? Because what’s happening is you’re becoming mostly emotionally, more and more emotionally strong. And the emotionally strong. Real estate agents are the ones that could best help navigate their clients through the transactions. And because of that, then they can make in net them more money, and they can help make better decisions. We add a ton of value. We add a ton of value in this industry. When I’m surprised as most agents don’t realize it, and they pay attention to the the disruptors that are saying this is just the transaction. No, right. This is an emotional investment. It’s an emotional life decision. If the consumer values us and needs us, so when you have those moments of doubt, and a breakdown, I have them all the time. I’m sure you do to DJ all the time. My fellow real estate agents, please listen to me. That is your gym, you will get stronger, you will survive and I promise you have trust in the process. And you are adding more value to the world because you’ve become emotionally strong. Yes, you

D.J. Paris 20:27
are. And if, if, if emotional, emotional support wasn’t needed, real estate agents would have been phased out already Zillow, Redfin, some of these, these great services that really can can serve as a lot of the non emotional parts of real estate, are going to be able to take that off your plate. And so you get to focus on the heavy lifting, which of course, is coaching, supporting, making sure your clients get all of their needs met. So I think that some of the disruptors are helping realtors to be able to better do what what they’re really paid to do, which is, you know, guide somebody through all the difficult emotional parts of a transaction.

Ryan D’Aprile 21:09
It is, and then get back to what we’re talking about the beginning, okay, and take care of yourself. You know, there’s a saying out there is you can’t pour from an empty cup. Right, you got to take care of yourself first.

D.J. Paris 21:23
When I was, I was just at a top producer event a couple days ago, and the panel and I won’t mention their names because I haven’t gotten permission to share this. So but one of them, one of the the gentleman who was speaking was is one of his legend here in Chicago. And they asked him what advice he had. And this is a roomful of top 1% producers. So these are people that are already incredibly successful in I mean, I write for the magazine, put it together, so I get to go, which is really great for me. So I get to learn all these great tips. And so really to piggyback Ryan, on what you just said, they asked, he’s they said, what one piece of advice would you give everybody in this room? And so this gentleman said, I wake up at 430, very similar to you. And this was his routine. He said, the first thing I do is I, this is him speaking he prays, then he then he reads his Bible because he’s a religious person, and then he meditates. Then he does his affirmations. And then he plans his day. And he said, The whole process takes one to two hours. He said, he has children. He has a wife. He said, This is just for him. He said, it’s the most he’s been in business tool, 30 years, no more than 37 years. And he said, This is what I do every morning, it’s the most important thing I do. I do it for me. And it helps me in ways I can’t even tell you. He goes, I know it might sound a little silly and not related to real estate. He goes, if I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t be successful.

Ryan D’Aprile 22:53
Yeah, it’s it is and there’s something in there that he’s routine, that maybe I think we’ll kind of circle back and then we’ll close out the segment. Unless you have questions, but it’s what he does is is his affirmations. And what I do when I’m coaching my coaches, and my coaches are coaching agents, or I’m coaching in particular agents, you we really want to focus on envisioning who you want to be, and be the person and have fun with it. You got to have fun with this, like, you just can’t go through the routines, you got to literally you got to work off your energy. Energy is everything in this in this world. Energy is everything, you have energy, it’s a form of language, and people feel it. So focus on your energy, envision who you want to be, and be that person, you know, focus on what would that person need to do to get where they are, and then start doing those things now. And then trust trust the process. And you and I have now I think recorded close to 10 sessions together. And, you know, listeners can go back and hear that process. And you know, I’m almost embarrassed on how easy it is. It’s it’s a very, very simple process. It’s just life is complicated. Human beings are complicated. So what we have to do is get an accountability partner, find a program that could help hold us accountable. Because if you do these things day in and day out the results always will show

D.J. Paris 24:27
up. You know, it’s amazing to is this show we interviewed top 1% Realtors all over the country, most mostly here in Chicago for the first few years and now we’re taking speaking due to nationwide realtors who aren’t at the top. And I you know, I don’t I can’t say with certainty that 100% of them have coaches but I know about 90% of them do just off the top of my head from all the people I’ve interviewed. So if the people at the very top have coaches seems like the rest of us should probably consider the same thing.

Ryan D’Aprile 24:58
Yeah, I exactly. Unlike if you don’t need a coach, that’s awesome, if you’re happy where you are wonderful, great talking to the 90%, who are struggling, because unfortunately, that’s what the statistics are 90% of real estate agents are struggling to get ahead. If you find yourself in that boat, don’t do it alone. Don’t go it alone and ask for structure. Ask for structure. All right structure and discipline will give you financial freedom, and the ability to say yes to experiences that are going to come along in their life, nothing worse than they say, No, I can’t because I have to do this or that. But if you are structured in your discipline, it’s like that thing I said in the beginning, most people are afraid of success, and they have a negative relationship with success and money. You guys got to buck that it’s not true. The more successful you have, you are, excuse me, the more freedom you’re going to have.

D.J. Paris 25:54
Yeah, that’s true. And also, you know, again, you know, I always say, you know, you’re, you’re a living example of this is kind of stay in your lane, which in other words means, as Ryan does this, he disconnects from noise that isn’t going to support his goals, his lifestyle and what he wants to accomplish. So things that are disruptive to you, that you find yourself, you know, spending an unhealthy amount of time either in your head or just obsessing about, you know, with with news or any social media, you know, really, as you start to find yourself being distracted, that’s when you gently bring yourself back to yourself and say, what’s going on with me right now? What do I need? What is it that I’m looking for right now? And if the answer is, well, I’m looking to be distracted, that’s fine. But just being conscious of what’s going on instead of unconscious, and just going through your day, and being reactive. And being a slave to social media likes and comments. You can really, if you get quiet, you pay attention, you’ll find out what it is you need. And you can give that to yourself. But as Ryan says you need to structure time, for every part of your life, I even when I go to visit my girlfriend, I hope she’s not listening, because this isn’t going to sound very romantic. But if I’m going to visit her at her place we live separately, I sit in my car for just one minute before I go in and I say I’m not going to check my phone, I’m not going to, I’m going to walk in and I visualize how I’m going to greet her. I visualize I’m going to ask about her day, and I visualize me doing the things that I want to do to be a good partner. So that because if I don’t do that, I show up, I’m distracted. I’m not really giving her my full attention. So that’s my little routine. But I have to have a routine or I’ll just show up and who knows what, what what state I’m going to be in.

Ryan D’Aprile 27:46
Yeah, absolutely. And for those of you who who say to yourself, are you thinking these thoughts, because they come really quick, you know, I am not going to be able to do this, I try it you know, these guys that Ryan share, I could see him meditate in the morning and journaling and doing the things that he needs to do. And he’s top producers are writing their affirmations and everything else. You guys I go a year without doing it. It’s not a good experience. But I go year I fall off the wagon, and we all do just get back on. And don’t be so critical of yourself. And that’s kind of my biggest goal when I meet with individuals is to kind of just get them to get off the pedal of being critical of themselves so much. Because when you’re critical of yourself, you’re really you’re really hurting others around you.

D.J. Paris 28:31
Well, and and you’re hurting yourself in the reality.

Ryan D’Aprile 28:35
You’re going as you’re you are hurting yourself, but you’re you’re hurting others because when you’re so critical, your health, your energy is negative, it’s toxic, and then the people who are on care about you, okay, you can’t even understand what’s going on. Because you’re so upset with yourself. Yes, and therefore, you’re maybe being critical of them. And then they’re just trying to help you. And so, like it says, this is like some real deep shit here we’re talking about, everybody needs to take a break. And understand that it’s hard not only to go to them, but the ones that love them. Take a break, stop being so critical yourself. Nobody is sitting around judging you. It’s just your world. This is a journey. Enjoy it.

D.J. Paris 29:19
Well and remember to that research is really clear because what you’re doing when you’re criticizing yourself, is you’re really bringing about you know, the feeling of shame, which is there’s something wrong with me I should be doing better. I’m not quite there. What’s wrong, why am I why is it hard for me to get things done? You know, instead of just going hey, I’m an imperfect person. I can’t do everything perfectly. So I’m going to I’m going to be compassionate and kind and if I if I saw somebody out there struggling one of my friend was struggling and said, Hey, I’m struggling with this would I would I be critical of them? I know I’d be empathic I’d be compassionate. We need to treat ourselves that way. For no other reason than the research says being critical. If you’re self doesn’t work actually doesn’t make you more productive. In fact, it has the opposite effect. And if it worked, I would tell people Yeah, be critical of yourself that actually helps get you motivated. And for the, almost all of my life, I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do. You’re supposed to be hard on yourself, you’re supposed to be mean to yourself, and then move on, oh, it doesn’t actually

Ryan D’Aprile 30:21
work. No, no, that’s a good point. That’s absolutely the truth. And in this business, you’re putting yourself out there, and I understand the fear and the anxiety that comes with that. But give yourself a break. And again, just trust the process. It’s a very simple process. Remember, everybody your network is your net worth. And your business is to create relationships with your network, make that your focus, quiet out the noise, there’s other opportunities. Like there’s other ways to generate business. But the best way is through the network. Take that path, it takes time. When I work with agents, I tell them, I’m like Mr. Miyagi, like wax on wax off and pick up the coat hanger coat and drop the coat and do all these things. But it is, like you said, the chopping the wood and in carrying the water is the basic relationship building techniques, that’s going to excel your career.

D.J. Paris 31:17
Yeah. And if you’re ever at a loss for how to build those relationships, just ask yourself, What can I provide to this person that would make them feel good, that would give them some sort of additional value? Instead of I’m going to remind them and I’m a realtor, and then that’s okay. But you know, think about point, what would be really helpful? What could I do that would make this person feel valued or feel appreciated? You know, even if it’s just a hey, I was thinking about you, how you doing? You know, whatever it should be? Yeah,

Ryan D’Aprile 31:46
that’s right in and so, you know, I want to kind of chime in here and that I want to reach the end, when you reach out to your network. It’s not about you, right. And Ally, we think don’t worry about value at this point. Because we’re not talking about marketing. We’re talking about relationship building. Yes. You know, focus on, you know, what are you going through? And what do you care about, and what you care about is yourself, of course, and you should write, and the ones you love, so research them, and ask them about them. Ask them about the ones they love. And this make it very casual. That’s what your focus should be on. And by doing that, you’re going to increase the connectivity you have between that person, you know, be someone other people want to be around DJ, yes, be someone other people want to be around. And I remember one, one of my father’s friends, he was the most successful guy knew growing up. And, you know, just, I just admired this person so much, but I didn’t realize until I was older. He’d always walk in, he’d say, he asked me about myself. Yeah. And he’d asked me what my brothers and he’d say, my mom was so pretty. And he told me how funny my father was. This guy who was the pinnacle of success at its time for me, and he was still is always just focused on us, and made us feel so special. And we just wanted to be around them all time. Take that you guys, let’s really think about that. And I really think that’s a good way for us to, to close off this session of our podcast, be someone other people want to be around, right? Be somebody that other people want to be around. And people want to be around people that make them feel good.

D.J. Paris 33:33
And if you’re ever at a loss for what to say, ask people about their lives, find out what they’re passionate about, find out what’s exciting, you’d be shocked at how few people that Ryan Ryan knows. But you know, we all know that it’s so rare when anyone actually unless our is our closest closest friends, you know, asks me what I do in my spare time. You know, very few people ever asked me that. And the people that do I’m so honored, right? So you can you know, if you’ve ever had a loss, just find out what gets people excited in their own lives. And boy, they’re, you know, that’s a wonderful way to deepen a relationship.

Ryan D’Aprile 34:09
Okay, I got one last thing for us before we wrap this up. Okay. Sure. You just remind me what you just said to. So be someone other people want to be around. I have two or three people in my life that I complain to their my safety zone. I do not do that with my network. Yes. And that’s something everybody has to be aware of. So a wise woman said to me one time be someone other people want to be around. And I grabbed on to that, because it’s incredibly important. But then I’m very focused on I need an outlet too. Sure. And I gotta be kind of those outlets to write. I can’t just pitch in the entire time about what’s wrong in my life. But your network, you know, when you meet with them, you Do you have a tendency to stress out and verbalize how you’re stressed out? Try to change that habit. And and leave that for your one or two safety people.

D.J. Paris 35:10
Yeah, I just to let you know what I do for that, because I think that is such a great idea and tip, and I think most people don’t have that. And for me, I’m in a men’s group, we meet every other Monday night, and we talk about the hard stuff in life. Where are we struggling? Where are we afraid, where we angry, where we sad, and we sit and support each other. And that’s a structured environment, I do it every other Monday night, we meet for three hours, believe it or not in a little dingy basement that we rent out for 20 bucks. And we sit on folding chairs and talk about the hard stuff. And that’s where I can go to you know, really vent and get help. And so if you don’t have that there are tons of options out there. But yeah, it’s really I’m so glad you mentioned that’s a great, great idea.

Ryan D’Aprile 35:56
Well, thanks for having me, DJ, this was a this was a nother you know, fun podcast. I really enjoyed this. And again, I hope the listeners out there are getting value from from our segment here.

D.J. Paris 36:05
Yeah, I know they are. Because we get a lot of feedback from them. And they are also the the listener counts do not go down when you when you when we do episodes, they go up. So we’re super grateful to you and for everyone who’s listening if you’re a broker, a realtor or an agent, depending on what state you’re in. And if you’re here in Illinois, or Michigan, or Indiana or Wisconsin, and you’re interested in joining a firm that does provide extreme coaching and really works with you individually to help take your business to the next level, consider deep real property. So I’m going to send you know, DAPL properties.com, that’s where you go, Ryan, is there a specific email, in case anyone’s interested in learning more about your firm or a phone number that you could recommend?

Ryan D’Aprile 36:48
You know, so it’s interesting, I’m actually coaching other real estate companies now in other markets like his like, some and well in other states right now. But I’m local, and this is my company, and I love it. So you guys can if anybody wants to just call me my cell phones 312-590-6416. Or you can email Ryan at the April properties that come ry a n, d a, p r i l e, properties that calm.

D.J. Paris 37:21
And we don’t want to gloss over what Ryan just said. So whether you’re an agent here locally, in our immediate area here, or if you’re affirm all across the country that’s looking for coaching or wanting to have Ryan come in, and Coach, you know, your team, reach out to him to for those opportunities. So And please, for everyone who’s listening to the show, I’m asking for a favor from you I’ve to two asks. One is please tell a friend just reach out to one other agent that could benefit from hearing episodes like these monthly episodes we do with Ryan, they’re so valuable, and pass this information along. It’s free, right? There’s no cost to any realtor who wants to listen, we do this as a way to give back because it fills us up. Ryan does this because it fills him up. It fills me up to do it. We’re super honored to have the audience that we have. But of course, we’re always looking to reach and help more people. So just tell one person, another realtor about the show that will really help us continue to provide more episodes, we’re committed to doubling the number of episodes we did last year, and we’re on pace to do that. And that’s because our listenership has increased. So please do that. And then the second thing is please, everyone subscribe to our Facebook page. It’s facebook.com forward slash keeping it real pod. And the reason for that is not only do we publish episodes in real time, so you’ll know as soon as this episode with Ryan, of course goes live. But in addition to that, we find an article every single day that is designed somewhere online that’s been written to help you grow your business and we promote that there. It’s the only thing content we promote on there’s every day, there’s one article that we find. So we’re we’re dedicated to helping you grow your business. So please support us by visiting us on Facebook and also support Ryan, reach out to him visit the apple properties.com as well. And Ryan, on behalf of all the listeners, thank you once again for being such a dedicated co host and supporter of our show, we couldn’t do it without you and we really, really appreciate it. My pleasure. Thank you

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