Ryan D'Aprile

How To Stay Focused On Your Mental Well-Being During The Quarantine • Coaching Moments • Ryan D’Aprile

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Welcome to another episode of Coaching Moments With Ryan D’Aprile from D’Aprile Properties!

In this episode Ryan discusses going through the housing market crash of 2009 and what he did then to keep focused on his business goals. He then discusses the importance of attitudes, beliefs and action and how mindset is the starting point for everything. If you’re struggling with knowing how to stay busy while working from home, or looking to build some better habits, this is the episode for you!

If you’d prefer to watch this interview, click here to view on YouTube!

Ryan D’Aprile can be reached at 312.590.6416 and ryan@daprileproperties.com.

Ryan D'Aprile
d'aprile properties


D.J. Paris 0:00
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Alright, welcome to the keeping it real podcast. My name is DJ Paris. I am your guide and host as always through the show and today is our monthly coaching moments episode with Ryan de Abril. Now, if you’re not familiar yet with Ryan, by the way, this is our first video podcast, you might still just be listening to the audio, but you also could be watching it live on Facebook or on YouTube. But Ryan, if you’re not familiar, is a progressive thought leader focused on providing for his agents and staff. His strengths are his motivational skills, his coaching style, and his dedication to training. Ryan has 14 offices with deep real properties throughout Chicagoland. Also in Wisconsin, Indiana, and Michigan, and hundreds and hundreds of brokers and top producers. The appeal properties is a coaching company with eight strategic coaches who work week in and week out with every agent individually focusing on business planning, coaching and accountability. If you’d like to take your real estate career to the next level, or if you’re just not getting the attention you need or deserve, check out deep real properties visit deep real properties.com Welcome once again, Ryan. Appreciate it. Yeah, it’s the first time we’re actually well looking at each other while doing this. It’s it’s Yeah, yeah, it’s I like it. Because I know you’re

Ryan D’Aprile 2:13
going to Well, it’s going to make me have to sit down I’m not Yeah, you’re going to be hard. I’m gonna get through it.

D.J. Paris 2:22
Yeah, well, let’s talk about getting through it. Right this that’s a that’s a good segue and share what’s going on right now and and how you know, our your bro, what are you telling your, your realtors to do in these uncertain times?

Ryan D’Aprile 2:37
It’s very interesting times. I was having a conversation last night with somebody and comparing it to different times that are going on in our lives in the past, you know, 20 years just thinking about the business and somebody was relating this to 2008. Yeah, and one of the things that I’m going to talk to you about and our audience here is my experience with the great recession. And the things that I did for that to be essentially a catalyst in my career. And I and how I got through and how I actually succeeded, thrived in that marketplace. But this isn’t what happened in the Great Recession. What this is, is similar to 911. Okay, this is a this is something that is says my internet connection is unstable. Can you see me so?

D.J. Paris 3:24
Yep, yep, I can’t see you. It is it is a slower connection, but you seem to be fine. You’re coming through just fine.

Ryan D’Aprile 3:30
And I’m just going to check if I’m still on the right one. Okay. So, yeah, this is, you know, this will pass. Um, but it’s interesting, but I relate this more to like, what happened in 11 different version of what, what the fallout is to come with the economy? It’s, it’s not, you know, it’s not the financial markets, or I shouldn’t say, you know, the stability of our economy. It’s, you know, it’s a crisis.

D.J. Paris 4:01
It is agreed. And a lot of people are staying home a lot of uncertainty in not only the stock market, but the economy in general, obviously, jobs in particular around hospitality food service.

Ryan D’Aprile 4:16
Yeah, like they call that’s the real economy, right? The stock market is a disaster. But the real economy is, is going to have, it’s going to have a huge effect on the real economy, but we’re gonna get through it. We’re gonna get through it. We’re going to come together these I believe these times really highlight. I think the important things in life, right? Like you’re exactly right, as a business owner, and as we say, the real economy right the the hairdressers, the Uber drivers, the real estate agents, the the attorneys I live in, are you having an impact on the economy on the restaurant tours? We just have to come together and as business owners, this will actually highlight if we’re if we’re focused on moving forward best practices that we need to, that we need to, to get involved with in our business. And it could be business development lead generation, it could be finances and and looking at your spreadsheet and how you run your businesses and what are necessary, what are unnecessary expenses, all these things are going to come into play in the next couple of months. But it’s, it’s one of these times where what I did in 2008, when this all occurred, excuse me, when the when the financial collapse occurred. In 2008, I had a decision to make. And I shared this with all my agents, I was three or four years into my real estate career. And I was my wife wasn’t working, I had three daughters. And I had two mortgages, and I was how I was terrified. So what I did is I turned that off, because I couldn’t afford, I couldn’t afford any more negative emotional energy for myself, right. And once I did that, and I, you know, I hunkered down into my dashboard, and my network. And, and stated communication with my network. And, and I didn’t pull back on my marketing. Right, I doubled down on my marketing, my business just absolutely took off. I was scared through 2008, nine and 10 and 11. And I started coaching in 2010. So I was scared, because what’s going on with the world and uncertainty, but my business absolutely thrive during that time as a real estate agent. So I’m working with all our agents now and saying, Listen, there’s a lot going on, there’s a lot to distract us. There’s a lot to disrupt us if we allow it to. And so it’s important to be informed. But you don’t have to be informed 24/7

D.J. Paris 7:02
I was, I was out with, oddly or ironically, food poisoning. For the past four out of the last five days today, I’m fine. But it really knocked me out. And I realized over that time, because I was just basically laying in bed. There wasn’t much I could do. And I would the first day was really laying there. And just the only thing I could really do was grab my phone and I started getting you know, updates about what was going on with the with the Coronavirus. And after a several hours I realized oh, I’m I’m now addicted to this news cycle, because it’s so stimulating. And it’s it was giving me the impression of being busy, because I was reading and then all of a sudden four hours went by and I went you know, maybe that wasn’t the best use of those previous four hours. And and I had to shut it off, because it’s so addictive. And it made me feel as if I was participating and buying engaged in my life. And the truth was, I was just consuming information. And it wasn’t particularly all that useful at that moment. And the truth is,

Ryan D’Aprile 8:05
we’re gonna get through this, we’re gonna get through this, and we’re going to get back to normal day life. And just like anything, we just have to focus on our mental attitude. We have to focus on our mental health. Because truthfully, your attitude is the number one indicator of your success and your success, not only in business, but in life in general. I’m going to draw diagrams since what the hell we’re hearing what’s on TV. See this? I you know, I saw this a number of years ago, and I and I have shown all my agents that so I don’t know if you can see me and can you see this? You’re good? Okay, so I can’t recall where I saw this. But I show everybody when I’m coaching them, like how much your mindset has an impact on your life. So do you know what?

D.J. Paris 8:56
Bs stands for? Belief systems?

Ryan D’Aprile 8:59
That’s right, your belief system? What else does in for? Bullshit? Bullshit, right? And I joke around people, because a lot of our mindset is typically it tends to go to the bullshit, and it tends to be negative. And so if we can be more focused on how important it is in our life, and what we need to do to move forward, the better we are equipped to do the right things. Alright, so here’s your belief system. Have you ever seen this before?

D.J. Paris 9:23
No. I mean, we’ve I know we’ve talked about it, but I haven’t seen it.

Ryan D’Aprile 9:27
So here’s your belief system, okay. And then what this has an effect on is your actions. And what your actions have an effect on is your results and what your results will do will reinforce your belief system. And so when these times right, where you’re just glued to the TV and you’re glued to everything that’s going on, or even out of these times, and we are kind of reflecting on ourselves in our negative belief system that A lot of us tend to have and in the sphere in society that we are all wrapped up with, we’re trying to work with Charlie, pull out of it and do these actions that you do that will give you the results. It just comes down to this your belief system. And so Ghostbusters, you can’t cross the streams here, your belief systems are either positive, or they’re negative. And so if you’re feeding your mind with all the negative, okay, it’s going to have a negative effect on the actions that you’re taking. And right now, everybody needs to be a real estate agent that has to support themselves that has to support a family, you have to understand that we’re going to get through this, okay? And when we come out of this, you have a choice, start over then or get going right now. Does that make sense? It does. So what happens is, when we’re focused on the negative, we start to take less action, less action brings less results, less results, reinforces that the world is falling apart, alright, or we could say, Hey, this is a good time for me to take a pause, to take stock and what’s important, my family, and all right, and then also my business and the things that I need to do, they got me there, the economy’s going to slow down, alright, it’s not going to come to a screeching halt, it’s going to slow down. And there’s going to be some effects to it. But what happens is the cream pens, the rise the top during this occasion, and when I studied 2008 910, I’ve been coaching agents for the past eight, nine years. Now, I look back on my career, during the Great Recession, there was just as much business for me as a real estate agent, as there was in six and seven, there’s more than enough to go around. And so if we can focus on the positive, and you have to look for its work, it’s gonna take action, and just take an action gives you results, and you have to do it over and over again. And then all of a sudden, you slowly start to come out of the red, and you move into the green. And that is what everybody that’s in our industry in the world, in fact, needs to, it needs to focus on. And then what can you do, and, you know, in your community, is when we’re allowed? Well, we haven’t been a lot, NASSCO help, but shop local, you know, the, the real economy, the real economy is in your backyard. And, you know, this is not a knock on. But, you know, go go to your, you know, dine out. What I mean by that is if the restaurants open, call and have it delivered to your house, do what you can to support your your neighborhood friends, your family, your small business owners, we are 80 to 85% small businesses are 80 to 85% of the economy. And we’re not the ones that really end up getting bailed out. I mean, it’s really, an I just don’t know how you create a bailout package for small businesses. That’s that’s, I’m not getting into politics at all, what I’m saying is that, it just, we all play a role in this, we’re all going to come together, we’re all gonna get through, but one of the best things we can do is, is to really shop local and support your small business owners.

D.J. Paris 13:17
Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. And I was thinking about your your chart there about how belief systems, you know, cycle through to actions and results. And, and, you know, I think there’s a misconception a lot of times for maybe some of people listening, who because we interview these top 1% producers on our show, and they probably think I bet every day these people wake up positive, energized, ready to go. And I will tell you, that is not the case, every single person struggles in my girlfriend’s struggle this morning, I had to give her a pep talk. And she is normally not somebody who struggles, I sneak I struggle sometimes. So what I encourage everyone to do is to use this time to cultivate those habits that you normally are too busy to cultivate. And if you need if that’s a morning routine, where you can get yourself in the right mindset, don’t don’t just assume it’s going to automatically happen because it doesn’t, right, we have to set ourselves up to to to create a routine where we can get those predictable results.

Ryan D’Aprile 14:17
Right? Are you one of the things that I share with our agents and individuals that are coaching is be vulnerable? Because people want to help each other out. And so what I mean by when I say be vulnerable, is just express how you’re feeling and say hey, I’m feeling this way kind of helped me out. And so I’ll be vulnerable here as well. Yes, I’m not sleeping at night. You know, I’m not sleeping through the night and waking up. I’m a small business owner, I have I think 70 employees and 13 offices plus a number of agents and and my actions I I have a lot of responsibility. And so I’m I too am nervous and I’m not you know, I’m not Pooh poohing that understand what we’re going through. But I come back into it and they take, you know, Shawn Akers, one of my favorite authors. And within our company, I’ve been quoting a lot of a lot of his books. And if you haven’t read it, read The Happiness Advantage. And he has his PhD from Harvard psychologist, he’s a brilliant man. And he just studies how being positive and happy, happy, it has such an impact on your life. And the one of the underlying denominators and most successful people is their positive attitude. But to your point, that doesn’t mean we all don’t I struggle with self doubt fair, I’ve told you this before depression, I, I have it all, what I do is I take actions to pull myself out and to look for the good, and there’s so much good around us. Right now, it’s more important than ever, to pause and do what you can’t put yourself in a mindset. And one of the things is I turned out, I tune out of the news.

D.J. Paris 16:01
Yeah, yeah, I think, you know, we have this opportunity to think about, you know, okay, so if we know that attitude is really the, the impetus for everything else, and then we have to realize that attitude is not always a natural state, it’s something we have to cultivate to so, you know, create a routine. Every morning, when you wake up, you know, there’s a great book, I’m sure you’ve read it, it’s very famous, it’s called the Miracle Morning, it’s, you don’t have to read that particular book. But it’s all about creating a routine to get you in that mindset, of gratitude, of appreciation, of opportunity. And to be a you know, otherwise you wake up in the world just hits you a million different ways. And you don’t know if it’s gonna hit you, in a way that bums you out or, or excites you. So you have to set it up for yourself. And I have to do the same thing every morning, I don’t wake up, you know, super excited and happy I have a routine to get me that way. Otherwise, it’s kind of like motivation. People say, you know, if you just wait around for motivation, you probably be waiting a long time discipline. Discipline is really what wins the game. So create a routine for yourself.

Ryan D’Aprile 17:08
That’s, that’s very true. And then these moments, let’s get down to, you know, what’s important. Let’s open up your dashboard, your CRM, yeah, what are the what’s the number one source for most people’s business, which it should be as your network, your sphere of influence, whatever you may call it, let’s connect with those individuals. Texting phone call, don’t make it about real estate. Alright, just check in, make it about relationships. If you focus on relationships, it’s not, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know, it’s who you know, and these are cliches for a reason. And anybody that is in a sales environment, has to it’s on their network, and you got to continually water that garden. And water is the relationships, the actions that you take, to reach out with a text, a handwritten note, a phone call a direct message via Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and commenting on individual because it’s not about you, it’s about them. And what everybody contributes, or everybody desires and wants out of life, significance, love. So just little significance, give a little love, give more attention. Now more than ever, and if and when things if we get quarante, or things get pulled in, it’s the best time because there’s nothing else you really can do. So turn off the news, get into best practices, be prepared, because it will pass it will pass will be back to normal.

D.J. Paris 18:41
There’s so much so much opportunity right now to demonstrate care, compassion and empathy to your contact list. A simple phone call, Like Ryan said, or a text message, hey, just thinking about you hope you and your family are good. You know that that’s, that’s an easy and free way. And probably they’re not getting calls from other service providers. Right. So you should be doing that anyway. But demonstrate my very first job in sales. There was a guy who’s 25 years in the business, one of the most successful guys corner office downtown, in in the loop here in Chicago. And he said to me, if you have to ask for the sale, you’ve just done it completely wrong. What you always have to do is demonstrate that you care about people, if you demonstrate that you care, all the sales will come your way. So this is a perfect opportunity. You know, if you here’s a really simple example, if you want, you know, you have a contact list, and this is going to cost a few dollars, but maybe it’s worth it. If you have Amazon Prime, you know, shipping is free. What if you shipped a $5 little care package or something to each one of the people in your database, if you can afford to do that and just say, Hey, I was just thinking about you that way. You don’t have to worry about delivering it. They don’t have to worry about whether they want to see you because of the you know, possible, you know, self distancing that we’re trying to do. But what if you just did that you spent $500 Which again, I know for a lot of People might be outside of their range. And and I can appreciate that. But if you have it, and you do that boy, what what? How much does that demonstrate that you care about somebody? And even if it’s not a gift, or just a simple phone call, I was thinking about you, I care about you. I hope you guys are doing well. Anyway, I’ll chat with you later. It doesn’t have to be more than that. And that’ll go so far.

Ryan D’Aprile 20:19
Yes, absolutely. And let me give our audience some tips to that I’m assuming you’re 100% Real estate agents or majority your real estate agent, and what to do in the, in the coming weeks as well. If things continue to shut down, which again, they will pick back up, if you have a lot of pending contracts, we own a mortgage company as well. And so this is one of the biggest refinance booms we’ve ever had. And one of the things that’s out there that’s going to happen is potentially here in Chicago, if the state shuts down, you can’t get water certs. And what that means is then you can’t have closings, and therefore the title companies will will be forced to, to close its brain come to your clients. All right, because it’s temporary. And let’s go back to previous deals that we’ve worked on, and say somebody is in a deal a year ago, and something happened, personally to them. And the attorney, or the real estate agent reached out and said, We have to extend our closing for two weeks. It happens all the time in our business, sure, not the end of the world, I would tell our real estate agents and our loan officers that are listening to this is get ahead of that and call your clients and say, hey, you know, we’re gonna get through this, your home is gonna close, it might get pushed back. If the cities in other cities have closed down, they have stopped doing things stop, I think it was countryside, which I believe requires inspections, city inspectors aren’t doing inspections anymore. Just bring calm to the situation. Because the number one value as real estate agents, the number one value we bring is an emotional intelligence. That’s why these disruptors out there, these, these these red fins of the worlds right. And I want to quote, they’re losing 10s of millions of dollars a year, thinking that our industry is a commodity. It’s not our number one value is emotional intelligence. Now, like I said earlier, we all struggle with emotional intelligence. But when you get yourself into that right mindset, pick up the phone, call your borrowers, if your loan officer, call your sellers, and call your buyers, real estate agents and say, Hey, here’s what we’re doing. Here’s what we’re dealing with. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know for certain that your closing will happen. It might get pitched back a week or two. But that’s okay. And here’s why city officials can’t go out for inspections. title companies can’t order water certs, so on and so forth. It’s not the end of the world. It’s okay and then listen, listen to them. Let them vent, let them cry, let them scream. And then get back to what you do. When you calm down to then go replenish your energy. Get back into a positive mindset and pick up the phone and go do it again. Because that’s our job. Our job is to bring emotional intelligence to one of the most stressful emotional transactions and people’s lives which is

D.J. Paris 23:39
in in non pandemic times. It’s the most stressful thing. So So have compassion empathy for what your buyers and sellers are going through right now. Aside from the

Ryan D’Aprile 23:51
unsung heroes, yeah, sorry about that. No, I didn’t mean to cut you off. But yeah, that’s true. I mean, you guys do so much. You add so much value to the marketplace. The marketplace is grateful for you because your business has not gone away in the past 20 years with all these disruptors trying to come in here because the market needs yield. The market needs your emotional intelligence, they need your love. They need your energy. Okay, so go out and be you. Go out and be you and have what Shawn Aker talks about is the ripple effect. Give a little piece of positivity out there. Give it to your loved ones, give to your friends, give to your clients. And slowly but surely, we’ll all might have this will leave the red of the negative or go into the green positive mindsets, and that’s what’s going to happen. What starts all recessions in my opinion, is consumer confidence. And we just had a huge shake up just like we did in 911. But we came out of 911 We’re going to come out of this.

D.J. Paris 24:55
Agreed Perfect. Well said Well, Ryan if there are brokers here in sure Cago I’m sorry, not just Chicago, you’re in multiple states, Michigan, Indiana, as well as Wisconsin, that are interested in joining your company, what’s the best way someone who’s listening who wants not one on one coaching? Who wants you know, the the D appeal experience for their their own business, what’s the best way they should reach out,

Ryan D’Aprile 25:20
they can reach out, they could, they could, like I had before they could, they could email me, they could call my cell phone, I want to, I want to, I’m going to shy away from that right now. And what I want to do is just get everybody to focus on themselves right now. I focus and I greatly appreciate that you don’t just focus on your energy, stay positive, do the things you guys need to do. All right, to keep moving forward. And together, we’re all gonna get out of this. And yes, if you ever if you’re looking for coaching and training, you can reach out to our company, you can find us on the website, you get my cell phones all over the internet, you could give me a call, I’m happy to walk you through either you’re looking at talk or if there’s a real estate agent that just needs to talk some through. You know, since I’ve talked to people in Idaho, Delaware, I’ve had, I’ve made some really nice friendships from this podcast we’ve gotten into so great, thank you for that. Yeah, yeah. So not Well, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Appreciate the plug, I just want everybody to realize we’re just going to, we’re going to get out of this stay positive, our mental health and our attitudes, the most important thing, and then get down to the number one basic activity that is going to help you move forward and grow. And that is relationships with your network. card system clients, call your pending deals, your active buyers, your sellers, are under contracts, and and be the calm in the storm.

D.J. Paris 26:43
Couldn’t said it better. Myself, and I won’t because you said it. So Ryan, thanks again for being on our show. We really love your contributions once a month is huge for our audience. It’s really, we get so much great feedback. So thank you, behalf of the listeners, we appreciate it. And thank you on behalf of Ryan and myself do the listeners which have just exploded without bragging about numbers we are continually to continually increasing and now we’re pretty much nationwide. So it’s very exciting. But so thank you to everyone because we couldn’t do it without you. You must be telling other realtors about us and we appreciate that. So we’ll keep providing this kind of content. And you know we’ll see again next time So Ryan, thanks again.

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